Hey! This is what I am doing with my life today

Saying Goodbye

2011-05-25T16:12:00.000-07:00

For most of you this entry comes as no surprise. I have one week remaining in Peace Corps Panama! I could ask where the time has gone but I think we all know the answer quite well. To answer a few generic questions I anticipate receiving at some point in the near future:
1. Yes, I am excited to come home.
2. Yes, my service and time in Panama was fulfilling and life changing.
3. Yes, I have plans for after Peace Corps - Graduate School.
4. University of Washington in Seattle where I will be a Masters in Public Affairs Candidate.
5. I want to study urban education and education reform as a long term goal.
6. This summer will be spent primarily in New Jersey with family and friends.

I am sure there will be more but that should satisfy the bulk of questions most people will ask initially. Things are going well here, I have had all the closure I need to be able to move forward. After here I will be heading to Colombia for a two week romp as I backpack through Cartagena, Medellin and Bogota. I fly home June 16th and will be home until the end of summer. Somewhere in the end of August I will be driving out west to Washington state to move to Seattle for school. Life is good and the future seems even better.

I have decided to move my blogging experience onto a different site. You can follow me at the following link as I journey to yet another city for the next phase of my life: gretchenchristine.tumblr.com

Where Did The Panamanian Summer Go?!

2011-02-26T11:23:00.000-08:00

December flew by as I was fortunate enough to spend the Holidays with Myles's and his family in Los Angeles. Unfortunately I did not take any pictures of my trip because we were on the move the entire time. Needless to say his family was amazingly gracious in letting me spend Christmas with them and making me feel so welcome. Myles gave me a great tour of the area and we got to go to a hockey game. Right before leaving we got to see Valeria, my good friend from Peace Corps Panama who recently moved to Venice Beach in L.A. with her new family. I have been fortunate enough to see her and her beautiful baby Nico twice in a year since she left Panama!

January came and went in a flash starting with Mom and Dana's awesome visit and ending with a visit from two of the newest trainees in Peace Corps Panama coming to my community for a week. Mom and Dana spent a week with me hanging out on the beach and relaxing in the hammock. Dana went fishing and caught tons of fish, obviously. "Dora the Explorer ain't got nothin' on her!" We got to meet up with Myles and my friend Mary on her beach for a day as well. It is fun to have our own car for a week, Panama is really not that big. Mid-January I had some training of trainers sessions to attend for up-coming seminars and got the chance to catch up with some volunteers I have not seen in a while. All-in-all January is a distant memory now.

February is slipping through my fingers as I write this...Grandpa and Grandma came down for a visit the first week of the month and we started February with a bang! They are crazy-brave travelers with no qualms about exploring dangerous cities in foreign lands. Sadly enough I was very busy with work during their visit so I could only meet up for meals! It was great to see them and catch up on each other's lives. They are fabulous and hilarious.
Both weeks of teacher training seminars went really well. We raised all the necessary money for our Primary School Seminar! I would like to extend a special THANK YOU to those of you who so generously put forth donations to help our project come to fruition. It means a lot and the teachers were incredibly grateful for the special English teaching training and resources. There was actually money left over that we are going to put toward kits full of English teaching resources for other Elementary School teachers in rural areas of Panama.
On to other good news - I am 3/3 for graduate program acceptances! The first three schools to contact me have said "Come on down, you are the next contestant on the..." oh wait, wrong daydream there, my bad. But seriously, I was accepted to University of Missouri, University of Arizona, and University of Maryland. All fun choices. It is still early and I have three more schools left to hear from...I am hoping one school gives me a bunch of money so my decision will be made for me!

All right, enough updates. Enjoy the pictures!

Sweet Reunion! Success!!!

Sunrise on my beach.

Yeah Mama C in the house!

Can you untie the human knot?!

Saying goodbye to our English professors after a fun week!

Yay! Pictionary!!!

My teachers from the Burica Peninsula!

Trust Building Activity! Woohoo!

All of our lovely Primary School Teachers.

The delicious cake we bought for the last day celebration!

Help a sister out!

2011-01-20T12:30:00.000-08:00

We Need Your Help!!!

Six Panama Peace Corps Volunteers (including your's truly) are trying to raise funds for the project described below. We need to raise our funds in the next week so please pass this on to friends, family, co-workers, or strangers with the urge to help us out!

Description:

A group of six of us are currently working on a Teacher Training Seminar for Panamanian Elementary School teachers who are now forced to teach English without any English background. We are trying to raise enough money to bring all of our counterparts out to a local city for a week long training with accompanying support materials they will be able to use in their classrooms. This project has taken quite a long time to put together/coordinate and we are all very excited. If you are interested in donating any amount of money at all it will be greatly appreciated.

**How to DONATE:

1.Go to www.peacecorps.gov

2. On the left-hand-side page guide click on Donate to Volunteer Projects

3. Enter the name Seliga under the space for name or project number. (It is the last name of the volunteer in our group who posted the grant online so our friends and family can donate to our project!) Underneath you will see our short description and more information on how to make a donation.

Feel free to spread the word to friends you think may be interested in making a donation! Thank you all for your support.

A Day in the Life of Bert (and Lincoln)

2010-11-21T07:23:00.000-08:00

Bert harassing a sleeping Cait.

No dice, Cait was passed out. So he moved on to a new victim...

Lincoln is sunbathing and just wants to cuddle...

Bert, bored of cuddling starts to give in to his annoying urges...

Lincoln refuses to give in to his petulant behavior and tries to enjoy what is left of the sunny day...

Bert can't handle not being notices, so he attacks his EARS!

To no avail, Lincoln is just too tired to fight back...

Bert decides to play nice and spend some quality sunbathing time with his older brother.

But eventually the paws start to sneak their way back to Lincoln...Bert can't help it!

It is 8pm...do you know where your kids are?

Sure, mine is CLIMBING up the screen window because I won't play with him while I study...

Finally it is bed time and he waits in the entrance to my bedroom for quality cuddle time with his mama.

Life since October.

2010-11-20T14:56:00.000-08:00

These pictures range from Cait and Alan's fabulous visit in Mid-October to the Youth Day I had in the Elementary School, November 10th. Caitlin, Alan, Myles, and Gretchen spent time in rural parts of Panama until Myles and I had to go to the All Volunteer Conference for the last three days of their trip. Awesome timing Peace Corps, no really WAY TO GO!
We had an awesome time from getting stuck in the mud on my beach - 5 point bonus goes to Panama's rainy season, to watching my animals beat each other up then fall in love all over again, and finally ending in paradise in an awesome rental beach house where we all felt like celebs!
My youth day was based on morals and values. I had the pleasure of hosting some five awesome friends in my house for what was meant to be a day. The 10th was a Panamanian holiday and I never ended up having any transportation so they were all stuck in my house for an extra night! I forgot how much I love having people around. It was a great mix of people and we had a blast.

I am currently in the States at Cait and Alan's house. What luck, getting to see my Caitface and Alan Salad twice in two months. It reminds me of college and I can't wait to be back in America with a job again so I can do trips like this more often! I took the GRE, I did well and now will complete my graduate school applications once and for all so I can be stress free while I wait for results. (Yeah find the logic in that! I am going to be a nervous wreck but who cares if I don't get in. I will work anywhere!) I will be posting a special entry tomorrow with fun pictures of my baby boys tomorrow. For now, let the celebrations begin - I am done with the GRE. YAY!

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. Love and miss you all. Holla at a player.

Birthdays and Roadtrips!

2010-09-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Myles and I decided to use some vacation days, rent a car and enjoy the freedom of the road this past weekend. Myles got to surf a bit at a beach near by although the weather was crumby.
We got to spend some time in a friend's Peace Corps community for one of the most cultural festivals in Panama. It was amazing from the singing, dresses, dances and bull fights! The weekend was a lot of fun and I am so content with our decision to go on vacation in Panama. Tonight we are going to celebrate the birth of Mr. Shuler with some Monday Night Football: Packers vs. Bears!!!! Wooohooo. Cait and Alan come in a little over a week and I can't really express my excitement. A post will follow in the weeks to come. Stay cool, as I sweat my behind off! Peace and Love from Panama.

Minor Updates

2010-09-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

Lincoln and Bert (JWB) are doing well. They love each other more than they love me! We had a party at a neighboring elementary school for Dia del Campasino. I posted some pictures of the cultural dancing and dress. The kids were adorable!
This next week my middle school is part of an English Competition I have been preparing them for-wish us luck! And next weekend is the largest cultural festival in the country. Myles and I will be near by so he can surf for his birthday. Hopefully I will have some good pictures to share with you all afterward! Ok, bye for now.

Here Comes September Folks...

2010-09-01T16:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes all it takes is one person to make an effort, to change your attitude. Recently I have been struggling on different levels – missing home, attempting to apply to graduate school from Panama with no Internet access, trying to balance my duties as a part of Peace Corps and being a community member. Trying to remain positive and motivated, always having a smile on my face has recently caught up with this Volunteer. The best way to describe it, I feel defeated, deflated. Basically I am an old flat tire tossed in a ditch on the side of the Interstate! Man oh man these people weren’t kidding about the difficulty of the job when I was applying. As volunteers we often refer to our service as a rollercoaster. One day you are up and just as easily the next you feel like the algae on the bottom of your water bucket.

August was a tough month and the fall is looking just as rough, therefore I am taking some of my own advice. I am going to write about how I am feeling and I am going to list the bad and the great parts of my life right now…

It has taken me a long time to truly understand my community, more specifically my role as the American or gringa here. As a Volunteer I have work that is expected of me in my community as well as on an office level. Add this to attempting to apply to graduate school, juggling vacation and visits from friends and family, trying to see my boyfriend, needless to say I don’t feel capable of catching up. Nor do I feel that it is possible to be great at all of these things. Mainly because it is not possible for me to be everything to everyone and I hate it. The multi-tasking, perfectionist in me somehow believes I am completely capable of doing it all perfectly well because I keep taking on more commitments! My main issue is the fact that I only have nine months left to do all the things I want to do in my community AND to see all the parts of Panama I have yet to visit. Who can I borrow some time from?!

It is a weird feeling, the growth I feel. It is as if I grew from baby to adult in less than two years and no longer fit into anything I own. At the same time I am not quite ready to get rid of my belongings. I just recently fell into the complete swing of things and already I am on the next chapter, already I have to start figuring out what my life will look like next.

My frustrations:

-I feel like I have spent so much time explaining what my job is that I never really got to start my job until now.

-My Spanish is ok. Definitely not where I had the benchmark set for myself.

-I am working with Middle School students and can honestly say I have never experienced such a lack of motivation, EVER.

-I am exhausted as an English teacher. I am beginning to resent my first language. Seriously, that is not cool.

-I am SO BROKE.

-We have not had running water for over a month now. Gross.

Looking at the Bright Side:

-I started an awesome leadership development group for girls in my middle school and it is going smashingly.

-Today a student came to my house because he wants to participate in the English Contest in David in September. He left my house and I heard him reading the poem in English out loud on his walk home. It is difficult to put it into words but that boy brought me back to the basics today. His enthusiasm, his willingness, his sincerity are all reasons I am doing what it is I do.

-If I do get accepted to any of the graduate programs I am applying to I will be given the opportunity to continue development work from a whole new level.

-I have been able to have visitors come visit me, and that would have been very different in the Republic of Georgia.

-No matter how good or bad my Spanish may be, I speak Spanish now. WOOHOO. Right?

-Money never has and never will determine who I am or what I become. Let’s be honest all I have ever really known is being broke. I would just be awkward if I had a plethora of money.

-There is an awesome breeze right now and my kitten is sleeping on my lap.

Well, as you can see the good clearly out weighs the bad. But is that not normally the case? My life is so different here and I love it. I miss home quite a bit but will be there soon enough! Suppose I’ll just keep on truckin’… gotta keep yo head up Bubba.

Okay, time to study for the GRE like yesterday! Peace Out Homies.

Only Ten Months Left?

2010-08-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

I introduce you all to Panamanian Folklore dancing, and Bert aka Pedro aka John Wilkes Booth. The newest and most adorable member of my beach family. We have had a great time getting to know each other and he loved playing in Andy's hat the week he was visiting! This cute little kitten sleeps on my neck at night and I have become a little too attached.
Andy leaves on Wednesday and I am back to being on my own again. We had a great time together, played cards, went to the beach and played baseball on the beach with my community.
Nothing too new and exciting going on down here for me at the moment. Still teaching English, trying to put together an English teacher's training seminar in January and started a girls leadership group in my middle school. I have high hopes for the group and my goal is be able to bring the girls to the Panama Canal in the next year. Most of them have never even been to the City nearest our community, let alone to Panama City. It would be a great way to open their eyes to opportunities right on their own soil!
With that I will be signing off, not very much to share. Things are going well!

Happy Birthday Panamanian Style.

2010-07-08T15:15:00.000-07:00

So I turned 24 and had the best 11th birthday party EVER. My students and some community members surprised me by showing up to my house with dinner made, drinks, cake, jello and a pinata! Very fun. We danced and ate a ton.
Other than that not too much has been going on. My actually birthday was very calm and relaxed. Myles and I just watched the soccer games and went swimming. It was a nice two days. Now back to more teaching and studying. Yes, I am aware that I am super duper cool. hah.

America The Beautiful…I Left You Once Again.

2010-06-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

I had a whirlwind visit at home. Time moves so much faster in America. In all honestly, it was completely overwhelming. Wonderful to see people – horrifying to realize how disconnected I’ve been this last year. The music, electronics, cars, labels, and advertisements… you get the picture. Things just don’t move like that down here when I am in my hammock or teaching English. When all is said and done, Tim’s graduation was great, Amanda flew out from Colorado to visit (So Awesome!) and Cait and Alan’s wedding was gorgeous. It was so perfect to begin and end my trip with two meaningful events. And I am very grateful that things seem to be going well for everyone up North!

Coming back I dealt with more shock, of course, just as I get my feet on the ground again. Jeeze. Can’t a girl catch a break here guys?! I fell right back into Peace Corps work with the new training group and one year medical exams. Don’t worry I passed inspection. Surprise! All the engines are running full steam ahead. I finally got back to my community and was so excited to see my puppy and my people! It was strange to feel an immediate parallel with my life at home. Nothing has changed here at all in a month and after a week at home I felt the same way, not much had changed. Sure, the superficial things change but people are still who they are, for the most part. OK, Twitch and Tiger (our senior year kittens) are MASSIVE, domestic BEASTS living on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. I jokingly gave Kari and Fran a hard time about how fat the cats are, but seriously, they are the biggest cats I think I have ever seen. (Taken into account that they live in a very tiny apartment might add to the illusion…the verdict is still out on that one.) Anyway, like I was saying, the fundamental things, the core our lives revolve around does not alter all that much and that brings me peace. There are so many times I feel so disconnected in terms of family, friends and life in general in the States. It was reassuring to know that everyone has a version of Ground Hog’s Day in the USA as well.

This week we had a few parties in the school, a fundraiser and then a Father’s Day celebration. There was a Reinita (Little Queen) contest between the elementary schools on my peninsula and some native Panamanian dances. I have attached photos for your viewing pleasure. I also attached a photo of yet another snake I have had to kill in my house. Rainy season is in full affect and I have yet to chop down the tall grass around my house so the suckers feel free to roam. This little guy was ballsy enough to enter my house the other morning. He was met not with coffee and eggs; he was met with my MACHETE. Yeah, I capitalized it to emphasize just how AWESOME it is, so don’t scoff at me people. One can lose their life out here in the jungle if they’re not careful…or don’t carry their MACHETE!!!!

All right enough of the crazy talk. Nothing else too bit or exciting going on down here…I am just teaching a ton of English right now and training teachers. We shall see how year two ends up.

Children, Pets and More Wildlife.

2010-05-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

So, the top picture is an update on some of my best buddies in my village. I love them. Underneath is a different picture of my community...the road leaving town! And my baby boy, Lincoln. He is growing so fast. Another update, I adopted a kitten, the black one, and named her Shadow. Her official name is John Wilkes Booth. The stripped kitten is one of her brothers, adopted by Myles...his name is Scout. He is currently raising Shadow for me since I will be out of the COUNTRY in less than 10 days. WOOHOO. I am glad she will be in good hands.

Things are going well. Working a ton in my community and with Peace Corps in general. The new group of volunteers arrived and we have begun training. I like all of them and hope they all enjoy it here as much as I have come to enjoy it.

And, as has been previously noted I am overjoyed to be coming home soon!

A little self reflection never hurts, right?

2010-04-12T16:00:00.000-07:00

My point of no return has arrived. Funny how something can linger in the air around you and you know very well that it is there, yet you try to keep it at bay by ignoring its very existence. It’s like an eavesdropper in a restaurant in the middle of an intimate moment. Sure, you ignore that person but that does not mean they are not there, sipping their coffee, making incredibly awkward eye contact as you spill your heart out on the table in front of you. Well, that thing happens to be less concrete than a human being, it happens to be my future. Now this is not to say that I have not always had things in mind for myself. Don’t get me wrong, I am not only a dreamer, I am also a planner. It has just been more fun in the last two or so years to simply take things as they come and enjoy “being young”.

There are times I sit in my hammock here and really try to materialize in my mind’s eye what my life will look like two years from now. And I can honestly say that it changes every single time I try. What a frustrating reality. Sure for some people it is exciting and refreshing. For some people I am different, more adventurous at times, somewhat of a risk taker…I aspire to be those things. In reality I am just a young woman stuck in between two clashing worlds that both have what she wants. I am 23 years old; I am still a baby but not a baby at all. To make this a bit more clear: I do not have enough years under my belt to be truly wise and I have too many years tallied up to be considered young and naïve overall. Thus, admittedly I am at a point in my life where my decisions are not only exciting, they are a tad bit scary. Asking myself what I want no longer consists of an answer like “I want to be a vet or a pilot or an interior designer or a therapist…” it is all-encompassing now. When I think about what I want to do professionally it is not all about the money anymore. It is not about a title, nor is it about location, location, location – it is more than that.

The exciting and scary part about finally paying attention to that annoying eavesdropper is that I am able to clarify who I am and who I want to be. My time in Panama has offered me a great deal of self-reflection. All of the previously stated, enticing aspects of professional life are things that matter but not enough. Right now they are not enough for me to run back to school for an extra title. They are not enough for me settle for less than the whole package. The thing is, I realize that whatever I decide to do has to be something I believe in. I have to love what I do and I have to know that I am doing something beneficial for people outside of myself. I have realized that much about myself thus far. I am a passionate person and it has taken me a long time to realize how to control my passion in order to use it productively. When I retire I want to be able to look back on my career and know that I loved what I did beyond the day-to-day ups and downs of work. I am drastically closer to that place right now than I ever have been in my life. I am excited when I think about my possibilities even given our current circumstances, to me that says it all. Being a volunteer on my own has offered me a freedom I would not otherwise have known and I needed this freedom. Creativity and time to fail has been the best recipe for me this past year. I feel more calm and collected about my future now. There is no longer this underlying pressure to have the right answer or the more impressive goal – I am in love with my life and that is what matters to me.

Vulnerability has always made me twitch. Just the thought of really sharing myself completely freaks me out…things change, so can I. Thus I post this entry, in an attempt to be more than sarcastic about what is going on with me down here. Things are up and down, high and low every day AND I LOVE IT. I am growing and learning so much sometimes I feel like my brain and heart will explode at the same time. It is a pretty amazing feeling and I can only pray that every person can have the same feelings at least once in their lives.

En fin, I am happy, healthy, peaceful and SO EXCITED TO COME HOME IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!!!

Lettie and the Free Garden...

2010-03-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

So, Mommom decided she wants to go to a garden we passed the previous day during our coffee tour. I say, "Sounds awesome - after I take a NAP." Poppop says, "Lettie don't even bother asking me, I don't want to watch you take more pictures of trees and rocks you will never remember." I laugh. A LOT. Mommom tries to convince us that she does not ONLY take pictures of rocks and trees.
I succeed in my nap-taking abilities, and as I am in and out of sleep I hear Lettie and Bill bickering about which direction the garden is...I briefly wake up to realize she has grown impatient, deciding to take the journey to the free garden without me. Great, I get back under the comforter and SLEEP. HARD. Five Minutes Go By... and mommom is back in room only to make sure Poppop knows he was wrong. Sure, she could have backtracked and continued in her pursuit to find the free garden. That was not possible, not on this day, not ever - she had to let him know there was NOTHING down the road to the LEFT, Bill. At this point I can no longer slumber peacefully. I know it is my duty to get my lazy behind out of bed, it is my duty to take Mommom to the land of flowers. It is my duty because I remembered the way very well.
In the end we found the garden, we took pictures and enjoyed an early evening breeze. Lettie made me pose, as is to be expected. Surprisingly enough, she posed for me as well! Way to go Lettie Lou! There were many highlights from their wonderful visit but I will only share a few with my audience (the rest are my memories for now!): Poppop singing everything Mommom said to him instead of replying. Poppop pretending to be a blind beggar. Poppop telling the tour guide that he is going to send in his resume because he is agile and excited to make a dollar for every five gallon bucket of coffee beans he fills. Mommom trying to shoot the moon every single time we played Hearts and Poppop stopping her nine times out of ten! (Let the record show that she is almost as bad of a loser and my mother and myself for that matter.)
The week flew by and I am sad they are already gone. We had a marvelous time and I got to take hot showers! Woohoo.

...Until next time...

March: Puppy Love, Friends Visit, Lettie and Bill Take Panama By Storm.

2010-03-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

The photo directly above is my Poppop in our hotel pretending to be a blind beggar. Awesome.

      March started off with a bang. I got my physical and mental health back on track, first and foremost. I finally got to bring my puppy down to my house. Talk about amazing. I am not all alone anymore, although it is scary how much I feel like my mother now - I talk to that dog more than I talk to my family or friends. His name is Lincoln. He is 3 months old and he is my mountain mutt. The extreme heat and humidity has already made me more lackadaisical than I was in the US of A, that being said training Lincoln is not going very well at the moment. I let him run wild and pretty much learn the lay of the land. He is me incarnate. It is frightening. He barks to much, I talk to much. He runs a mile a minute and then sleeps like he is in a coma. He is obnoxious and incredibly curious. And he eats more than I can afford to provide for him! Needless to say, we are a match made in Heaven or Hell, you decide.
      A couple friends from Telluride made their way to my community a week ago. Alyse and Laura! It was so great to see some familiar faces. I showed them around my village and my friend Maria cooked an amazing fish and plantain dinner. We parted ways once my Mommom and Poppop flew into my part of the country on Friday. We actually met up again because they stayed a couple nights in Boquete where I am with my grandparents! It is great to see Lettie Lou and Wild Bill. They are hilarious and I think I have cried laughing too many times to count already! (They have been with me for two days now). Other than getting huge welts on my legs from bug bites yesterday everything has been great. Mommom has been helping me with a huge project I have undertaken with the schools in my area of Panama. Poppop has been a constant source of dry humor and entertainment. I had to translate everything on a coffee tour yesterday. The guide was shocked they did not speak Spanish. Go figure. Poppop said he would send in his resume, he wants to pick the coffee beans. He also spoke his gibberish "Spanish" and has been telling Mommom her Spanish will NEVER be as good as his. After all, he is a master of all.
We head to the beach tomorrow! I hope these bites go down. I look like I have tumors in my legs - NOT COOL. I do have hot water, great food, great company, air conditioning and a blow dryer here...so, all in all, things are looking up. I feel half way to being clean again. It is alright, I am coming home earlier than planned in May to be able clean my act up.
      I have quite a bit of work to do these days in my community and with Peace Corps in general. It is nice to feel a bit more busy because I was getting sick of having so much time to contemplate my life and future. GROSS. haha. More to come this week from my adventures with the Ritners.

About the Whole Traveling for a MONTH straight...

2010-02-17T12:15:00.000-08:00

After a couple weeks of back to back Peace Corps meetings, seminars and Panamanian Carnival I am heading back to my community with some kind of parasite and lots of great memories! We had our regional meeting where I won Vice President of the Volunteer Advisory Committee for Peace Corps Panama. We followed that up with a Teacher Training Seminar and after that A Project Management and Leadership training with a community member. All went really well. I have lots of ideas and aspirations for my community and hope my community members are as excited as I am! A huge amount of volunteers traveled out for the festivities in the Azuero Peninsula for Carnival. It was a few days of ridiculousness. Water hoses, street food, loud music and lots of parades for the Queens. It was fun, eventful and luckily I left with all my belongings!! So overall, things are going well -- I am getting excited for Lettie Lou and Wild Bill to visit in a couple weeks! WOOHOO.

My Puppy and Other Minor Details.

2010-01-15T12:49:00.000-08:00

Here are some newer photos from my community. My puppy, Lincoln, is the black one! He is one month old. There is a picture of a puzzle my host dad did in two days, 1000 pieces, a christmas gift from my mom. He loved it! And my English class for kids. There is also a picture of my host brother working on his casita aka fort! So adorable. It is very hot here and things are going well.

Bring in 2010 with a visit from Mama and Timbo!

2010-01-11T12:54:00.000-08:00

I am not quite sure where to start so I will probably keep this short. I spent New Years in Panama City and had a fabulous, "classy" time with Peace Corps friends. We danced a ton and tried to record too many moments because there was a lot of sweating going on due to the intense humidity. haha.
Mom and Tim got in late afternoon and we enjoyed time by the pool and introduced lots of friends. We visited the Canal. Super exciting body of water...NOT. We decided to head out to my site and I made them eat at FRIDAYS when we got to David, the city on the other side of Panama...because I wanted a taste of AMERICA. Well, my plan was thrown back in my face when I received a raw burger as my meal. Awesome. Not even Tim would eat it...you know something is wrong then.
We spent a few days in my community hanging out on the beach, meeting people and we even got to go fishing with my friend Daniel. It was a lot of fun and even though we sweat a lot - none of us lost weight because I made sure to stuff us full of water and food every minute of the day. Mom got to practice her Spanish, Tim got married off a few times (obviously, what else is new) and then we headed to the Caribbean side of the country. The Pacific is gorgeous but we had places to see and people to abuse. So we took our three buses to the other side of Panama and then a boat to the Island. We had four days of glorious weather, beautiful beaches and really good food. We played an absurd amount of Gin Rummy and Spades. And the entire time mom made sure all of us knew she is a "card shark"...too bad she lost so much. Yeah, some card shark you are Ms. Ritner. Myles made it nice and even for the two days he came out to visit us; it definitely made cards fun to be able to play Spades. It got so pathetic that we carried our card hands in our pockets to dinner and played while we waited for food and after. Whatever, go ahead, judge us. Foolish on your part because we had a GREAT time.
All in all an amazing time, it was so good to see my family. Now is the hard part - going back to the jungle alone. I already miss them and miss the states more than ever. May come quickly!!! March will be Lettie and Bill, I am excited but don't know if Panama is ready. haha.
Happy New Year Everybody!!!

Christmas in Costa Rica

2009-12-28T06:38:00.000-08:00

Not too much has been going on as of late. Mainly getting ready for the holiday season that, in a blink of an eye, was upon us! Myles and I came to Costa Rica on Christmas Eve and have spent lots of time just relaxing. The weather has been gorgeous, sadly we leave today. Nothing too extraordinary -- we ate great food, swam on a beautiful beach and played lots of cards.
Yesterday he did give me my first surfing lesson ever. I had a blast and actually surprised myself by getting up many more times than I expected. I also paddled and caught some of my own waves. It was a lot of fun and I am definitely going to try to learn more and get some practice during my time down here. Seeing as I am constantly dreaming of snow and skiing, it is nice to have a different sport to learn that I CAN do while I am down here. WOOT WOOT.
We head out today and I go back to my community tomorrow for all the graduation ceremonies. THEN...We head to Panama City to celebrate New Years Eve with a bunch of people in our Peace Corps group and MAMA AND TIMBO get in a few days after. I am beyond words...only a few days until I get to hug family and talk to them in person. It has been nearly 9 months since I have seen anyone from my familia and I definitely felt that on Christmas. I miss everyone but did manage to have a relaxing, enjoyable Christmas. Enjoy these pictures Aunt Daph and Uncle Doug -- Myles took them upon your request! haha. I look a HOT mess. But hey, at least I did it, right?!

Stokesville 2009 and beyond!!

2009-11-28T07:40:00.000-08:00

I cannot express in words what it was like to see a familiar face while Katie Stokes was here. You all have her to thank for taking pictures during her time here; I was WAY too lazy. Weird, I know.
What a whirlwind of fun and emotion. We got to visit different parts of the country and she got a very “Peace Corps” vacation. Poor woman, I am forever indebt to her for putting up with all the crap that is involved with being a volunteer – including my awesome friends here. There is a bit of a stigma that goes along with this job, the isolation unfortunately makes the reunions like any other job…when you see your co-workers that is your common vein. Needless to say most of us find it hard not to “talk shop” when we are congregating. Thank GOD, Kate laughed it off and put up with us because she was a blessing for me these past few weeks.
We blew spit balls in fine establishments together, we played way too many card games, we made fun of pretty much everyone under the sun, we traded music, we traveled to both ends of this Republic and reeked havoc every single time. The one place she really wanted to go was…FINE. We had a pretty bad run of luck in the mountains. Mini rundown of events:
1. We show up with a reservation at a Hostel 6:30pm – Not one freakin’ person present to welcome us with the beds we had paid for. Super Duper.
2. We end up at a family-run joint, just peachy, right? Not so. BED BUGS FOR 3 DAYS. It also just happened to be located on the main street. The 3 days we were there were national holidays…this involved loud drums and tambourines starting before sunrise. Real Cool, Panama.
3. It rained every single day starting as soon as the parades ended, hence the urgency to start the party at 5:30am, right?? WRONG, just postpone the darn thing. Due to intense rains we could not hike.
4. Due to intense rains we were informed after we had risen from bed at 6am, that our rafting trip was canceled.
5. Kate finds out she has lost track of a good chunk of change. We ask everyone only to get incredibly defensive responses. So we got afternoon cocktails. What else do you do when it is raining Panamanian babies and empanadas? I mean cats and dogs…ooopps.
Don’t worry there is a light at the end of this ugly tunnel. We did in fact go rafting the day we left and it was amazing. The river was raging and so were we! After we finished tearing up the river we headed to my community. There was a festival and MORE parades and such. The whole month of November here is a party. Independence days, Separation days, etc., etc. so eventually we joined in! We watched the parades and a rodeo with a drunk cross dresser and ended Kate’s trip with a dance where we danced the night away/danced with men who were too drunk to stand up on their own. I felt like nurses who work in nursing homes must feel, way too much effort to actually enjoy “dancing”.
We played with Michael Jackson (the baby I named after the artist due to his birth occurring immediately after Michael’s death) and Kate obtained a few boyfriends. She even had stalkers! Way too go Stokes, the phantom blonde drops in to my place, steals hearts and flees, unbelievable. Uncouth Stokes, uncouth.
All in all, memories were made, my English got better, my Spanish got worse. I am still teaching English, I still like it here and I am still finding a way to eat as much pizza as I can when I get out of my community. Some things will never change I suppose.
And some things will, my baby bro turned 22, gross. Timbo is also finishing up his college football career, also gross. I keep throwing up in my mouth a little bit. He is so…old. GROSS!!! I see all these pictures of him and my baby cousins getting all tall and stuff, getting braces off…STOP IT ALREADY. Everyone else is supposed to stay frozen in time while I keep moving, right? MOTION DENIED. The world keeps rotating and people get old and change instantaneously. Maybe it is really the opposite, I am like Peter Pan down here, refusing to participate in the growing up part of our culture; solid job, my own mahogany desk with nice family pictures framing the edges, marriage, kids, long term commitment. Ouch, I just felt a shot penetrating through my arm, minor heart attack no big deal.
I figure I will have the rest of my life to catch up to the rest of society-- I will not have the rest of my life to live like this. No sir, can’t just pick up and go with a husband and tots on your heals or at your side. Admittedly, it does not help having everyone asking me why I don’t have kids and how soon I am going to start…if you know me at all you know not to tell me what I should or should not do because I will make sure to do the opposite. Nope, stubbornness unfortunately, is inherent and like a bad TV show I just can’t quit it.
Well now that I have ranted I will leave you be. I miss you all and I miss ‘Murka (That is short for America, mommom!).

****All of the above photos are out of order. All you need to know is that the people, places and insects are all directly related to my life right now.

My National Geographic Month: October 2009

2009-10-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

I have had an utterly random four weeks in “the nature” here in Panama. One evening while making a smashingly delicious dinner I heard a strange noise coming from the part of my house nearest the beach. I placed my fork and knife (yes, you read correctly I eat like an American when I am in my house!) on the table and peered out the door to see a MASSIVE possum eating an ENORMOUS toad. It was disgusting and awesome. I had no idea possums existed in this part of the world. The following day was quite rainy and overcast. I had been teaching all day, exhausted I returned to my house for a cat nap of sorts. As I approached my hammock I saw the most shocking creature I have ever seen in my life – an armadillo. FACT. The little guy was rummaging for food or only God knows what…all over my yard. My shock quickly turned into disgust and latter into the amazement of a small child so I proceeded to follow the little guy around my yard trying to take his picture. Yes, I am assuming it is a male…it is SO UGLY. Haha. **Side memory for Tim: “Leonardo Dicaprio is NOT attractive at all. – Marta. I know! Why are so many people obsessed with him, in most of his films he is so ugly. – Me. Several Minutes later… Oh My God! Tim you look just like Leonardo Dicarprio there! – Marta and I (watching The Departed) – Wow. Thanks guys. That is just freakin’ awesome. YOU JUST SAID HE IS UNATTRACTIVE. You guys suck. Sorry for getting off track there. So, the armadillo has been a staple in my yard and a welcome change to herds of dogs that smell like crap. A few days later cockily sure that nothing else could shock me in the natural world that is my front yard I saw three baby raccoons on the beach in front of my house! They were adorable, so tiny and … raccoon –like for lack of a better description. I did not expect to see anything like that down here. Monkeys, snakes, spiders I was ready for, I have seen sloths as adults and babies, but possums and raccoons?? Armadillos?!! Yet another night while eating my dinner I saw a rather large leaf in my window. I thought it strange for some reason and wanted to move it, as I touched it, it moved! It was not a leaf by any means it was in fact a cockroach the size of my hand, fingers included. I just threw up in my mouth writing about it. It was so big I did not want to kill it with my machete because I knew it would be a mess so I used bug spray. Twenty minutes later the stupid bug FINALLY died. The picture I put up is the poor guy on his deathbed. ADIOS SUCKA!
Not too much changing down here. I have been teaching too much English and am getting worn out. I still love it here. Although there are no sick days in the Peace Corps this truly is a 24 hour 7 days a week gig. I was on my deathbed (karma anyone?) the other day with the worst head cold I have had since high school. People still visited me and proceeded to hang around for hours at a time. My two twin all-stars were my favorites of the day because we just played cards and cracked open coconuts in my yard for snacks. These little kids know how to handle a machete let me tell you! Unbelievable.

Other than that it has been raining a dangerous amount and our "road" is non-existent right now. So I am reading too much and making way tooooo many bracelets!

Becoming One With Nature.

2009-09-11T12:34:00.000-07:00

I have successfully killed 20 scorpions, 7 tarantulas and countless cockroaches and other creatures this past week living on my own. I saw a shark when I was swimming off the pier the other day, that was awesome. There was an earthquake a few nights ago, being true to who I am, I slept through it! Last night there was a crazy thunderstorm and the thunder alone woke me up three time, literally shaking my bed.
The best description I have of my life right now: I am a mix of Rambo, Tom Hanks in Cast Away and the super white English teacher from every generic movie of teaching in a poor community. I go buck wild on animals/critters in and outside of my house, with my beloved machete. And then I crack open a coconut and drink the milk from it on my hammock overlooking the Pacific Ocean. Oh, I also have lots of work I am doing, I promise.
I am teaching five days a week in two schools and have a separate class with the professors to improve their English skills. I am also working with the Tourism Committee on different business plans and budgeting for upcoming festivals.
The elementary school had a competition the other day between five other communities and we won!!! I cooked chicken and rice as well as potato salad for the kids and teachers. It was so much fun.
I have running water, most of the time. I have electricity, most of the time. I went on a walk through the jungle the other day and saw three different types of monkeys, they were adorable. I LOVE THEM. I also saw tons of humongous spiders. They looked so awesome, I couldn't even be scared due to their fascinating color schemes. Needless to say, I am learning to embrace the nature world around me. My fears are slowly subsiding...amazing what weaponry can do.
All that being said, I love my life here. I miss everyone from home. And my fantasy football team is sub-par as of this past week. Things BEST turn around.
The End.

P.S. Pictures of the elementary school, teachers and students. And the inside of my house on the beach. Yes, I live alone. My hammock, my machete and quick point of reference I lay in my hammock facing the beach. :)

Panamanamanmanamanama

2009-09-02T11:57:00.000-07:00

Pizza Hut. No matter where I go, I want pizza. I say Pizza Hut because I somehow crave greasy food when all I eat is greasy food. I would settle for any kind of NYC pizza, Trenton pizza…you know, the World’s finest.
If you are wondering how I am doing, I am very well. A few minor health issues here or there, normal stuff. And I would give my mental health an A+ at this point in my Panamanian adventure. I have made some pretty hilarious friendships in my community and as time passes I find myself a tad bit too comfortable here. Almost two months in and I am in love with these people, two years from now – I don’t want to know how hard it is going to be to leave.
Some significant changes:
1. I eat everything with my hands or a spoon. Forks and knives have evaporated from my hands.
2. My Spanish vocabulary is incredibly limited due to a lack of descriptive words in my community and seemingly all of Panama. Every type of shirt, for example, is coined “sweater”. (This has led to an increase in my English vocabulary because I am reading more than ever before so as to NOT describe all my belongings with one or two words.)
3. I am never in a rush anymore. EVER. And if I am honest with myself I have actually become tardy. “It’s the culture” hahaha. Way to set an example, right? Eh, I will just do what they do instead…way to go Gretch.
4. I swim with shorts and a tank top on because that is what Panamanians do.
5. I find myself going a whole day without drinking water and then I pay for it later. That is when I realize, I am not Panamanian and some “adjustments” can never be made. I need to drink water, unlike my community members.
6. I kill scorpions with my machete.
7. I cut my "lawn" with my machete.
8. I open the coconuts in my front yard with my machete.
9. I also kill chickens with my machete and eat them.
10. I have come to love my machete.
There are more but I will end it here. Over all I enjoy dancing randomly, making fun of myself and eating way too much fried food. The thunderstorms here are awesome so I am in Heaven – rain on a zinc roof is awesome. I have always wanted it and here it is. Some of the best gifts are rainy days; the perfect excuse for solitude and a good book in my hammock.
I have gone fishing a few times there are some crazy creatures in this part of the Pacific. And some of my fisherman friends are just as crazy! We do not use fishing poles - we use fishing line, hooks and our hands. I helped out with a Reinita competition, which was between towns in one district. The little girl, Genesis from my community won! It was awesome and because I am the white girl they asked me to crown her. It was cute. She will go on to compete to be queen of her province now. It is a big deal and awesome for our little pueblo. All the participants had to wear dresses they made out of paper - so creative and adorable.

The ants go marching thousands by thousands in Panama!

2009-08-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

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Have you ever looked at a line of ants working on something and wondered what their interactions are like? Like does ant #1992384 in the line think that ant #1948385 is super attractive and maybe he wants to ask her over to his anthill to watch a movie? Or maybe ant #13841274 sweats a lot when he works (like an American in Panama) and gets made fun of because the rest of the ants don’t sweat at all (like most Panamanians). Or maybe on is cross-eyed and has a difficult time figuring out how to obtain the leave that is obviously in front of him. Can you imagine if ants had social nets works like humans? Jessica, the ant has a clique with all her ant friends, they are the cool group. It is hard to associate with them because they are so exclusive. I am assuming they don’t because they accomplish and they all work together. And when you kill one, they all freak out.
I promise, I am not losing my mind or anything like that, I just have more time to focus on things like ants now. Or maybe it is just because there are so many freakin’ insects here!
*Definitely saw the biggest cockroach in the history of humanity on my floor last night. Awesome. It was like the size of a small dog, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!! So I popped a sleep meds and passed out. Yep, sometimes it is better to not address the reality in front of your face!

I can’t believe it August already! My time is starting to pick up speed already, which frightens me a bit. There is plenty of work to be done and I have already started most of it. After talking to some of my friends in other communities, it appears that my ‘over-achiever’ mode has been turned on. It is nice to feel semi- busy, whatever that means here. Things are so relaxed it is hard to feel as though you are getting things done if compared to the way things run in the USA. I realize that I cannot compare my previous jobs to this…at all. The rate of progress here is relative and has to be put into perspective. I am teaching quite a bit and working in the school in small stints. Overall I really am starting to fit in here well. It is not so much a feeling of people laughing at me, more with me as I am trying to practice Spanish the way they speak it here. My meals consist of rice and pasta, together and some meat…all of which I eat with a spoon. Now you might be puzzled by this, trust me I was as well initially but it is quite simple – you shovel mass amounts of food in your mouth at once. Trust me it is not pretty and it leads to me eating much more than intended. Go figure, me eating too much at once. (Amanda get that smirk off your face, I try to breath between bites).
I am going to the director of the school’s house for her birthday this weekend. I am excited to get out and meet some new people. She is really great and I have enjoyed getting to know her. It is nice to have someone relatively in my age range to spend time with that is motivated and interested in similar things.
It has been raining a lot at night so they turn the electricity off without warning. So my host brother and I have dance parties in the dark with flashlights. I will leave you with that mental image for now! Until next time…

***the pictures above are of my 2 year old friends that wake me up every morning waiting to play. haha. They are hilarious. One is very tough, the other is a pansy...I am pretty sure you can figure out who is who. And the other picture is of the space where I teach English classes to my Tourism Group.

The Many Hats Time Wears…

2009-08-01T08:58:00.000-07:00

It is nearly a week away from August. I cannot believe I have been in Panama for over three months already. To think I missed yet another summer in New Jersey or the experience of summertime in Telluride baffles me at this moment. It was a strange realization, as seasons here really do not exist. Sure, scientifically speaking there is the dry season and the rainy season. All I know is that it is hot and humid every single day. Some nights it rains and some days there is a slight breeze on and off. The Tide switches weekly here, or has managed to so far. I do not know anything about Tide patterns but am ready to learn.
The seemingly simple tasks are what I have been finding the most delight in, going for a walk. Never in my life has walking been so therapeutic! When I think about earlier school years or college there were so many things I took for granted. Alone time is a troubling juxtaposition at this point in my life, for example. The delight of finding a moment to yourself and at the very same time a, at times, frightening reality that you are completely alone everyday… and then you realize – You are not alone, you are on your own. I make my own schedule now. I am the boss of Gretchen Christine Shaub, strange isn’t it? I have people here and with more time friendships will take form like those I have had with people throughout my entire life, just in Spanish this time. Haha. That brings me back to my previous thought. Appreciating my ability to take a long walk alone on an empty beach, lined with palm trees and beautiful rocks. To sit in a palm tree and look out into oblivion to decompress. There is something to be said for having peace of mind and an appreciation for where you are.
There is drama in my community like any other place in the world we choose to live. Someone doesn’t like “so and so” and refuses to work with them, and so it begins. Public Relations 101, and trust me it is not fun. I love working with people and find great joy in analyzing personalities, making acquaintances and small talk. It is EXHAUSTING to do it 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It has been a nice reality check for this Psychology Major, wanna-be counselor. I have not been here long and already am being push and pulled to either side of the community. Learning subtle alliances, friendships as well as dislikes. And all the while I am told to remain neutral, trust me I do my best.
My sense of humor is completely intact and I am in higher spirits than not. I find, as of late, that I have changed quite a bit more than expected. My goals for life after Peace Corps no longer matter. My heart is worn on my sleeve every day of my life here and I allow myself to experience things completely. I am much more levelheaded and rational as a person. Maybe this place has had a calming affect on me, casting me into a new place of maturity that comes with experience and patience or maybe I am just changing at the rate I would no matter what I could be doing at this point in my life. All I know for sure is that I am happy where I am. I mean, who wouldn’t? 

I have become Ralph from Lord of the Flies...

2009-07-17T14:15:00.001-07:00

These are pictures of my future house on the beach. It is concrete and then the rancho is basically my front porch facing the ocean. The next picture is of one of the two year old's in my community that follows me everywhere. The teacher/director of the primary school, Gladis. And my gang of friends who just happen to be 11-13 year old boys. haha. They are awesome!

July 7- July 13 “Look the doll is going swimming in the Ocean!”

2009-07-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

Things took a drastic turn mid-week when I decided to be a big girl and embraced the awkwardness that is my life right now. I went to the school and talked to the director/teacher for grades 4-6 just to get to know her a bit better in an informal setting. We talked for a few hours and had a great time. She is young, energetic and very excited to learn English from me. WOW. Who would have imagined? She answered all my inner questions about how I am supposed to reach Peace Corps goals of sustainable development. We set up class times so I can teach her English and I am going to observe her classes for a couple weeks before I begin teaching. Amazing. Afterwards we had snacks and chatted about the community and being far from our families. She lives in the school during the week since she is single and her family lives 3 hours outside of the community. She definitely understands my loneliness and sadness, as she feels the same at times. It is especially hard for her seeing as she is Panamanian and in their culture families are incredibly close. Children from the community started to trickle by and we decided to play basketball…eventually we had enough kids and started a baseball game. It was so much fun!
I have started to venture out on my own more and more. Running on the beach, swimming with the boys that live near me. There is an adorable group of 10-14 year olds that all want to play with me all the time. It is very comforting. So we swim, play cards, play soccer…they help me with my Spanish and I with their English. Everyday I become more independent and that much more excited for my life here.
Quick laugh for you all: When we were walking to the beach a few days ago a man yelled at me, asking where I was going. I told him I was going to swim. He promptly informed 5 houses surrounding his that, “the doll is going swimming in the ocean”, I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
Today my host family and I cleaned the little house on the beach that I will be living in for the next two years. It was so much fun! We were barefoot mopping the floor, soaking it in water, soap and bleach. Killing cockroaches and termite nests in the rancho (my soon-to-be awesome front porch facing the ocean) I realized how far I have come. I killed a cockroach and didn’t care at all that it even existed. Saw two spiders and DID NOT kill them. I repeat, DID NOT KILL THEM. I merely encouraged them to leave the house. For those of you reading this that know me, understand just how MASSIVE an accomplishment this is for me.
Afterwards my host dad, mom and brother sat on a palm tree hanging over the beach in front of my house and looked at ships with binoculars. We talked about all the animals in their part of the ocean and the fishermen see when they are out to sea.
I am very lucky to have the family I do, as well as the community as a whole. They are wonderful people – my host dad is an incredibly genuine person. It is so refreshing to spend time with him. He is loving and caring with his family and has been a great friend to me. I really look forward to spending more time with him, he makes me want to be a better person. It is hard to articulate other than to say he is the type of person you want to be around all the time. He is positive, hardworking, constantly wanting to learn about the world, open-minded and has a kind heart. He exudes the essence of what life should look like no matter where you live in this enormous world.
Now that I have rambled on for paragraphs I will close with this statement: The quote, ‘jump and a net will appear’ has never become more apparent and tangible in my life than this past week. I hope that those who read my blog all have the opportunity to experience something as wonderful as this week has been for me on my little Peninsula in Panama…

*Sorry for some of the repeat pictures. The computer freaked out on me and wouldn't let me see what I had added. I hope you enjoy them, seeing as this is my home for the next two years. My next update will have pictures of my future house, I promise!

June 30- July 7 Speak English for 2 Weeks THEN Return to Your Community…HAH

2009-07-13T07:58:00.000-07:00

We swore in on June 30 and the week before and after were together as a whole group. There were plenty of good times being had by all, seeing as we very rarely had the opportunity to see everyone from group 63. The saddest part was leaving our training community so abruptly. Our families didn’t understand why we were leaving the NEXT morning…selfishly we were all excited to be in a place with running water, air conditioning and windows!
After Swear In we had a final session for training in the city and then were given a few days to relax. Nearly our entire group of 46 people headed to the same beach. It was awesome! We got to relax and spend time together as adults, not trainees, not random “gringos” trying to learn Spanish. Haha. We could sit and have a meal, speak English and just be ourselves.
My birthday was amazing. My friends made it an incredibly special day, definitely ranks among top birthdays of all time. It definitely helped that everyone was so relaxed and happy to be with each other…and silently freaking out about leaving the next day for our communities solo!
I spent the night in a city on the way to my site with other volunteers in my group who are just as far out there as I am! It definitely made it difficult to go to my site after two weeks of fun and English. And the extra night, due to travel time, only added to the nervousness. I fell in love with my group and really did not want to leave any of them.
I showed up to the town closest to my community, about an hour away and the directora/teacher of the primary school and my community guide/host mom picked me up! It was nerve racking everything became so real, very quickly. All these emotions came flooding over me and I couldn’t distinguish one from the other.
I was happy to be starting my service, I was SO sad to leave my friends and I was so nervous. My Spanish had gotten worse, this only added to my nerves. I started worrying about how good of a volunteer I would be…would the people ever really get to know me? Do they want me here? Do they care that I am here? WHAT AM I DOING?! Two years and I don’t know anyone. How am I supposed to help them when I have so much to learn from them? When I got to the house, I crashed on my bed and slept for nearly 2 hours. A much needed rest considering my emotional exhaustion. Maria woke me up informing me that there was a party at the school for me; they threw me a birthday/ welcome to the community party! There was a dinner, cake, piñata, drinks, balloons, signs and people brought me birthday gifts. Totally mind blowing. These people are amazing.
I have been here for a week now and slowly I am starting to get hold of what things will be like. Everyday brings a different knot in my stomach and then I remember:
JUST BREATH, JUST BREATH
This is the hardest job I will ever love, right? Haha. My language is going to be stellar with a few more weeks. I am going to meet everyone with time and patience. I will form friendships and this will become my home. Just like every new place I have ever lived. Not having an exact schedule is so difficult. Not having a boss hovering, demanding specific work from you is incredibly hard as well. Ironic as it may sound, the flexibility can really start to get to you. Failure seems inevitable.
So, I have started to come up with miniature goals from week to week. Eventually these goals will become much larger and I will have a tangible project, however nothing can happen without the necessary relationships in place. It is scary and wonderful all at the same time when you realize just how important your relations with the people around you are…
I am going to learn so much about life here than I could have ever imagined when I applied for Peace Corps.

June 24, 2009-- Dance Monkey Dance…and if not at least sing for us.

2009-06-26T09:34:00.000-07:00

Oh hey! I am alive and well. Still in Panama working for this government organization, Peace Corps. Yes, I am tall. Yes, I am white. Yes, I have blond hair and blue eyes. And yes, I do know how to speak Spanish.
I had my site visit this past week. It went well, I enjoy the people in my community and think I have the potential to do very well there. Lots of staring and talking about me instead of to me…until the conversationalists realized I knew Spanish. There were a plethora of awkward, ‘oh snap, she understands what we are saying’ moments shortly after this realization. Pretty hilarious in retrospect to tell the truth.
I am living on the boarder of Costa Rica in a community of about 500 people. The community is spread out along the beach and up a rather steep hill. Of course all three families that offered to host me my first three months live up the hill. Haha. I saw the house I will be living in on my own – cutest little house ever, on the beach!!! Very beautiful, super relaxing and on the edge of the community so it is much quieter than the rest of the community…
There are definitely going to be challenges but I am confident that I am the perfect person for this site. All in all my spirits are high and I am ready to start the next two years of service. Good thing too because our swear-in ceremony got pushed up 4 days. I suppose I was never meant to have a legitimate Peace Corps swear-in. One cool thing because of the changes – we get the Panamanian Vice President attending!
During my week at site I got to meet some interesting people in my community, to say the least. Everyone is outgoing and pretty freakin’ funny. Great personalities and a great view, what else can a girl ask for?! The teachers at the primary school made me sing the Star Spangled Banner for them, yeah, that’s right. They wanted me to dance initially and I diplomatically refrained from doing so. The singing could not be avoided seeing as I clearly know the Star Spangled Banner. It was hilarious for all of us.
I played Lo Sabes Todo with my host family for nearly 7 hours one day. It is the Panamanian version of Trivial Pursuit. (Yes, that is correct Colin Hunt, I played it and somehow managed NOT to freak out. Kari I expect you to share this with Colin, as I doubt highly that he will ever read this.) It was so much fun and an awesome help with new Spanish vocabulary. My training director is awesome and gave us an extra day off before having to be in our site in July. This means that I have my birthday free which I will be celebrating on the beach! I will be returning to my site on July 4th and was told that they are throwing me a welcome party on the 6th.
We are now back in Panama City getting ready for Swear In, to become Volunteers! A very exciting time, especially considering we have nice places to stay in with screens on the windows and internet!!! Panama is treating me well over all.

June 13 -- Maybe it’s the humidity…

2009-06-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well attempt number 3 for this blog entry. I have typed up a few so far – all very funny, I might add. And all of them have been lost as my computer continues to have temper tantrums. Super Duper.
My patience is running low, like the snickers bar supply in the tienda thanks to me. I will attempt to fill you in on the last few weeks briefly.
Technical Week we went to a mountain community. It was only my Tourism and English Advising sector, we taught in the school one day and worked with an eco tourism group to improve their website and brochure. We also worked with the older students on a recycling project for the school. I stayed with 4 other trainees in a very interesting house; the older couple that owned the house were very into recycling and making art projects out of the things they recycle. The house is covered in dolls as well. And I am not talking cute, “remind you of childhood” kind of dolls. I am talking “bride of Chucky”, “welcome to the HOUSE OF A THOUSAND CORPSES” type dolls!!! OUT OF CONTROL! There were doll heads all over the yard, over the sink...I can’t really do the creepiness of this situation justice with written word. We also had to hike across a field of mud every night after it rained to get home. Needless to say we had to use a machete to get the mass amounts of mud caked to the bottom of our shoes off! At one point not one of us could physically pick their feet up while walking across the field…the mud was victorious.
Cultural week we were in the mountains on the Costa Rican boarder visiting an agriculture volunteer. We got to know some of the cultural norms for our region of the country and some that are common all over Panama. We killed a chicken and ate soon there after. As I was peeling carrots in a huge bowl a MASSIVE spider appeared. An apparently, incredibly dangerous spider, that thing was so big it could have been Maurade’s dog for all I know. It was HUGE. Absolutely freakin’ scary. I couldn’t move, I just huffed and pointed. The woman I was cooking with took her machete and hacked it into pieces. It was definitely a WELCOME TO PANAMA moment for me.
We went to a dairy farm and milked cows. Hmmm what else? We gave a talk in the school and the students preformed for us as well. I had the best host family ever. I miss them now, and definitely did not want to leave them. They were extremely sad to see me go as well. They were my language and everything Panamanian teachers and I was their Barbie doll. Haha. I laughed every minute I was with them.
Now all I am left with is a HORRID allergic reaction to the bug bites I got from that visit all over my legs and arms. Good thing I am not looking for a husband, right?! (Don’t worry Mommom, maybe someday I will settle down…maybe)
One highlight from the two weeks: the dance here is the Typico. The men during this dance shuffle their feet EXACTLY like my Poppop does when performing his famous “dancing feet”. It brought back awesome memories of Sunday night dinners at Poppop and Mommom’s house and made me chuckle to myself.
Tomorrow we meet our community member we will be traveling to our new communities with – all of us are nervous. It will be a fun conference and then we have a week in our new places! We get a chance to get to know the people and bring some of our things to leave for when we return in just a couple weeks. Training only consists of one more week once we return from our site visit. I can’t believe it is almost over! Second training in one year down, at least I feel pretty sure I will make it to Swear- In this time! Haha. (Better knock on wood real fast).
I will close with an apology: Sorry for the severe lack of pictures. Admittedly, I did not use my camera once during the past few weeks. I am not bringing it with me this coming week either. It is just too bulky. GET OVER IT. I will be living in my site for two years and will have plenty of time to share pictures then.
I love you all and miss you much.

Yaya Panama

2009-05-30T14:02:00.000-07:00

I am a fool and have had no time to update this blog. I promis soon enough I will sit down and write up more information. I am in the PC Office right now for a short technical session and took advantage of the free internet. I leave Sunday to visit my site for a week!!! Woohoo.

Soon enough I will have interesting storied to upload. As of now, I am boring. MY BAD.

Love and miss you all.

May 12- 16th You got the Swine Flu Fo Real?!

2009-05-17T10:12:00.000-07:00

First of all, I had my site placement interview this past week. It was vague to say the least…all I know is that I get my site placement this Wednesday. Let’s keep our fingers crossed, maybe throw out a prayer or two that I get a great site. The weeks are flying by and I am feeling a bit apathetic as of now. Things are going as well as can be expected. I still love my group and don’t feel incredibly overwhelmed. HOWEVER, I also don’t feel incredibly prepared yet…I am waiting for my Spanish to click and my fear of all insects, as of late, to subside. I must admit, I am getting better – I shower with cockroaches now and have dance parties with ants and geckos in my room before bed every night.
I am at the 4 week hump and today was my first day completely free. Let me tell you, it was one of the most difficult days to date! I didn’t know what to do with a whole day. I have been conditioned to follow a ridiculously regimented schedule that my brain shutdown today. I spent time with some training friends and talked a lot with my host mom.
Yesterday we had another big group meeting day so we got to see the other sectors. It was nice to see some different faces. Sad fact of the week: I was one of a very SMALL group of people that did not receive any type of letter or package from family/friends from the states. I am over it now, don’t worry guys.
Oh, duh. The weather is changing over to rainy season now and my allergies went BUCK WILD. I called medical because I need allergy meds and she made me go to the clinic in a nearby town. So I get to this clinic and I don’t even finish telling the doctor my symptoms before he calls a nurse in to bring me a MASK, yeah that’s right folks…I was forced to wear a mask all day. He assumed off the bat that I had la influenza. Super Duper. To make a long, absolutely absurd story short, I had to go to Panama City to get further testing done. I was wearing a ridiculous mask over my nose and mouth, broadcasting the fact that I had H1N1, all to be told that I have seasonal allergies and a minor nasal infection. Gee, thanks guys, I had no idea. I was gone from 9am – 9pm and no one told my poor host mom where I was. All in all I got the medicine I needed and the culture shock I guess I deserved? Haha.
So, if you need a good laugh sometime image me in a foreign country, in a clinic where a doctor is rattling off Spanish faster than anything I have ever heard. I am asked why I am there and one sentence deep I have a mask thrown at me, and everyone in the clinic is told I have swine flu. Needless to say, I was pretty frightened.
It is all gravy now, so don’t you worry your pretty little heads!
I miss you all a heck of a lot and hope this update finds you well.

May 4- May 11th Holla at an Indigenous Village in the Jungle.

2009-05-17T09:53:00.000-07:00

Ok over all things are on the up and up. My group continues to be awesome. Training sessions are exhausting only because we sit for four hours and talk about hypothetical situations in 95 degree humidity. We are all always sweaty and gross but whatever. My host family is awesome and I seem to learn more and more everyday just how good I have it. Maria is a fabulous cook. She is a huge help with my Spanish as well – her patience is amazing. I enjoy the time I get to spend with her, however limited it may be due to training.
We travel a lot through out the training to different parts of the country. This past week I traveled to visit a current volunteer in an Indigenous community in the East part of Panama. My friend Shiv and I were placed together to visit and had a blast. It was really awesome to be immersed in a different part of Panamanian living. We were in the middle of the Jungle where this volunteer lives in a hut on a river. It takes 45 minutes by boat to get to her site.
The people of the community are amazing. Their way of life is so foreign to me as they live a much more sustainable live style than I am accustomed to; they live in huts and use minimal electricity. They are in a tough situation now because the land they have lived on for decades is now considered a national park. They are not allowed to hunt freely, or use wood freely to repair their homes. This causes quite a predicament.
The volunteer told us about a racist boar that the village had to get rid of after she moved to site. The boar hated white people and took a chunk out of a light skinned Panamanian teacher and proceeded to charge after the volunteer whenever she came around!
I had an amazing time. We cooked, we relaxed, we bathed and swam in the river every day and I learned a heck of a lot about Peace Corps Panama. I am really excited to finish training and settle into a site somewhere.
One of the nights the three of us had a ridiculous dance party. Yeah, that’s right, a dance party in the middle of the freakin’ Jungle!!!! It was awesome.
Hmmm, what else…
There were mad amounts of crocodiles in the river.
We made pasta and grilled cheese but best of all – she bought SPIRAL KRAFT MAC and CHEESE!!!! We made pancakes and peanut butter and banana sandwiches. I laid in a hammock and read while it poured cats and dogs in the afternoon. We napped every day…so perfect. The female chief of the community re-named me, Shanene and Shiv, Chili. Pretty ridiculous! By the end of our time ther. everyone in the village referred to us as Chili and Shanene. Hahahaha.
Today we headed back home and met up with tons of people in our group. Everyone had very different experiences, from what is seemed no one had a trip that could compare to ours. I really lucked out and hope things continue to be this awesome!

April 27- May 3, 2009 Santa Clara Fo Sho!

2009-05-10T09:41:00.000-07:00

We had a giant group of trainees at the waterfall in our community last Sunday. Pretty amazing way to start the day!

Skyline of Panama City.

Beach pictures from a rainy day in Panama City.

Panama City
Playing with the pollitos yet again.
The front of my house - Abdias playing with the pollitos.
My frontyard
My host brother, Abdias. He is 4 and absolutely wonderful.

We arrived in our training site on Sunday and were sent out to find out new host family/residence for 10 weeks. TEA (Tourism and English Advising) and SAS (Agriculture) are living here and CEC (Environmental Conservation) is staying in a town 10 minutes away. My host family is small: Tereso, my host father, Maria, my host mother and Abdias, my host brother live in an awesome part of the town. They are amazing people -- so kind and helpful with my Spanish. They are very understanding of my weird tendencies. Abdias is 4 years old and might possibly be one of the cutest little boys I have ever met. I think the whole language thing adds to the effect little kids of me, for real.

Let’s see…my host mom was looking at my photos and said Tim (my brother) looks like Brad Pitt. Way to go Tim! That definitely makes up for incident with Leonardo DiCaprio with Marta and I a couple years back. What a load off my shoulders.

Big black ants are all over the place here. Cockroaches come in all sizes…some look like they could be mistaken for mice. True story. I have not encountered too many spiders here, YET. The mosquitoes are the real issue in all honesty. I get eaten alive! And a lot of them carry random diseases, not just malaria. No worries guys, the geckos are all over my room! I love those little suckers. Haha.

The public transportation system here is pretty simple. Diablos Rojos are public buses. They are glorified school buses. All of them are painted with different pictures and have different things going on inside. It is pretty awesome. And they are not expensive by our standards.

My name is incredibly hard for people to say here so I often get called “Grutchen”. Pretty awesome, right? Hmmm. Oh and I look like a tomate after my walk home for lunch and after any form of exercise.

The food is WAY better than I anticipated. Lots of rice and beans, bananas and plantains, eggs, chicken and bread. Maria is a great cook! I had my first hardboiled egg two days ago and I LIKED it. Crazy, I know. Since that fateful day I have had 3 more. Wow I have been missing out all my life. I also had my first ham sandwich. She fried it in a pan so I didn’t have too hard of a time consuming it. I am still not a huge fan but it was yummy. Every dish my host mom has cooked so far has been amazing.

Training was good this week. Long and hot – I hope my body starts to adjust to this heat. I am sweating more than ever before in my life. It is the beginning of the rainy season, it means everything cools down at bit at night and you wake up to even more moisture! Yay!! Haha.

On Saturday we were sent on a scavenger hunt in Panama City, it was really nice to be able to have some free time with every sector.

We hiked to a waterfall today and swam for hours. It was glorious. Tons of us getting to know each other and actually relaxing semi- comfortably, what a novel idea… I am having some trouble completely opening up here. I really enjoy every person in our entire group. I have given it some thought and I think my emotional reluctance at this point is a mix of the intense climate and being exhausted both mentally and physically. This year has flown by and I am in a very different place than originally anticipated. Perhaps it is a good thing. People will get to know the real me when the time is right. I am doing my very best not to compare experiences but WOW it is hard. We get to travel SOOO much during training and in a couple weeks all of our technical training starts in Spanish as well. I have no choice but to get better. Holler at your girl.

The take away message is as follows: I am doing very well. Week one has been a success and training has been successful as a whole so far. I am walking a tightrope between getting to know my host family and community as well as my fellow trainees. Hopefully that will become easier this week!

OH!!! CONGRATULATIONS BEN AND XARIS!!!!

I'ma hop on you like a spider monkey!

2009-04-25T15:28:00.000-07:00

Tell me that is not adorable and I will reconsider our relationship, friend or family - no exceptions on this one folks!
The love of my life, Kika. This little spider monkey loved me as much as I loved her!
Another view of the village coming from the river.

Getting off the boat we took to get to the village.
Volunteers around Panama.
Two of my amazing roommates, Ayla and Valeria. Ayla is from Southern Louisiana and in the Enviro Conservation program, Valeria is from Miami and in the Agriculture program.
Two other amazing roommates Becca and Katie! Becca is in the Enviro Conservation program, Katie (my roommate in D.C. also!) is from Illinios and in the Tourism program with me.
Two other amazing roommates Natalie and Gretchen, oh that's right you guys know me... Natalie is from Oregon and in the Tourism program as well.
Our group of 47 making our way to Immigration.

Today was probably one of the best days I have had in quite a long time. We had a site visit with a current volunteer working in an indigenous community. He lives in a beautiful village an hour outside of Panama City, Empera Quera. The people are wonderful, the food was good and the sun was shining. People were laying in hammocks on their open decks (houses) and kids were playing futbol. He has a cat and I am going to get one as well. Most volunteers have either a cat or dog, I don't want to have to worry when I travel so I believe a cat is my best option...we shall see.
The art work the village makes to sell is gorgeous. It was really nice for my sector to be able to get out and bond like that. The people in my entire program are awesome.
I got to play with a spider monkey for about 3 hours. She loved me and I fell in love with her. You can buy them for under $20 because they are normally either eaten or sold on the black market. I really want to see where I end up getting placed....if I am able to I want to get one. I felt like a child again, so alive. One of the young guys in the village came up to me as I was leaving and told me to take his gift (a mango) because I am beautiful. It was really cute and my group got a good laugh out of it.
Tonight dinner was great, so much energy in the group as we all came together after our separate days. Each sector loved their excursion and loves their assignment! Such an awesome feeling. Tomorrow we are going to head to our training site and it will be awhile until I can write again. I am very excited to get to live in a Latino community so I have something to compare the indigenous community with...
We get to travel a lot during training, so different from Georgia. We get a 3 days to go to a current volunteer's site on our own in May, a technical week where we live in a volunteer's village and a cultural week where we live in yet another volunteer's village! Awesome. The other two sectors, just an FYI, are Agricultural Sustainability and Environmental Conservation. I am thoroughly looking forward to doing cross sector work to better promote Eco Tourism. Every volunteer we have met so far absolutely loves it here. They all love their villages and their jobs, most of the time. haha. Let's be honest a job is still a job on some days! :)
I am praying my spanish gets better FAST. haha. I will try my best to find internet a couple times during training but I make no guarantees!
I love and miss you all.

Day 2

2009-04-23T05:33:00.000-07:00

We are currently in La Ciudad deSaber. We are on the Pacific side of the Panama Canal and can see it from where we are staying this week. Orientation goes until the 27th and then we move on to Santa Clara for training. Training lasts until mid- July.
So far I have been viciously attacked by every mosquito in the vicinity. I suppose that is their way of welcoming me! haha. I am staying with 5 other girls from the group (there are 47 of us). They are all very sweet and fun. We have meetings all week but it should be good and hopefully give us a chance to get to know everyone. Staging was so short and traveling so long yesterday that we really still do not know each other -- I definitely have yet to meet everyone.
There are many more forms for this program versus Georgia. This is a good and bad thing. haha. My spanish is LACKING. But it will come back, I am not too worried. However, there are many people here on top of their game. I am happy so many people speak it well because it will make it better for me to re-learn.
We all have to take Malaria pills and I am pretty scared to have nightmares. It will be fine, I just hope I don't have a negative reaction to the pills.
Ok off to our meetings. Adios!

Staging One More Time Now.

2009-04-22T03:40:00.001-07:00

I took the Amtrak train to D.C. yesterday morning. Got in around noon and Clint picked me up to take me to my hotel. What a sweetheart, right?
Staging was over in a blink of an eye this time around. 4 hours compared to 2 days. Craziness! My roommate and I went to dinner with Clint. It was nice to be able to see him again before I left. We went back and passed out pretty soon after. We had to check out of our hotel at 2am. And have now been at the airport since 3am....it is 6:45am and our plane boards in 15 minutes. I am really happy with my group, everyone is really chill. Panama should e a great location for us all. I hope it works out well.
I am excited somewhere deep down but kind of just going through the motions, prepared for it all to end at any minute. I guess that is what happens when you are a bit jaded from a prior experience. Getting to Panama and beginning training will be good for me.
Thanks to everyone for your support. I love you all and miss you already.

Panamanamanmanamanama

2009-04-20T14:54:00.000-07:00

So, I suck at blogging. We all know this...GET OFF MY BACK YO.
I got home from Telluride and promptly started enjoying the company of friends and family, family friends and friends of the family. Awesome times. Really.
Went to Philly to see Timbo. DUH.
Went to New York to see my homies. DUH.
Easter weekend we got to chill with old friends from home and of course have an Easter Egg Hunt at Mommom's. Super Duper. (I won of course...we all know Tim is the weakest link)
Karimah joined us for the oh so special holiday. She joined us for the egg finding competition. I would also like to add that Tim CHEATED by hiding my egg under a pile of DIRT AND STICKS!!!! And his response when caught - if you ain't cheatin', you ain't tryin'. Super duper. Clearly he was raised right (way to go mom!)
Time flew by and before I knew it Tim and I were "road trippin" to see our beloved Daner Lynn. In only God knows where VA. Her friends were awesome and we had a fabulous time. We held hands, made camp fires and became blood siblings....well ok, it wasn't freakin' summer camp. We played "pong", watched Dana hit some balls, ate fried pickles and saw a waterfall.
On our way back we got stuck in traffic, Tim lost his mind and our friendship ended. We are now only siblings. Mom was upset but figures with me leaving for 2 years we might have a shot at fixing things one day. We always get along better when I am out of the picture anyhow. Tim really thrives with one-sided relationships.
Ok, ok clearly a lot of that paragraph is a fierce exaggeration. The traffic wasn't THAT bad.
I went BACK to NYC that night. Yeah, that's right...THAT NIGHT. Because I do what I want. I got to see lots of people. We made lots of memories. And I left Sunday morning.
Sunday afternoon I went to Philly with Uncle George...we went to an awesome concert. Handel, Bach, Bloch and Telemann -- the Kimmel Center is pretty ridiculous. Cool. We then went to dinner with Aunt Kimba.
As I arrived home, Kate Stokes and DC arrived!!! They stopped along the way, as they are "road trippin" as well. It was awesome to see someone from Telluride...on the East Coast!
I leave tomorrow morning for Staging in D.C. and fly out the next morning for Pananamanamanamama. I AM SO EXCITED. For the record, I have lost my mind. COMPLETELY.

Love you all. Peace OUT.

March Madness to April Fools

2009-04-02T11:16:00.000-07:00

So I began to pack up my apartment and figure out the logistics of getting to Denver. I gave away over 8 bags worth of clothing etc. to the free box. I felt like I was the Salvation Army and maybe a Soup Kitchen all in one with all of the stuff I gave to people. Now I am pretty set to leave. We have an employee party tonight at the Cantina and a few more days of work. It has been super dead at the restaurant and I LIKE IT!
It got SO friggin' cold and has been snowing like crazy. Go figure. Just when we had given into the reality of Spring...I am grateful for a few more powder days!
I am flying home on the 7th and head to Washington D.C. on the 21st of April. We fly to Panama the following morning! I am very excited. I am too distracted to finish this blog right now. I will write more when I finish my Bloody Mary and stop socializing with my friends. hahaha.Tough life I know.

Crested Butte

2009-03-09T13:55:00.000-07:00

Beaufield, her best friend Amber from Nebraska and I rented a car last week and left town. We went to Crested Butte to visit Beau's friend Clint. We skied and hung out for 4 days. It was great. We also took some great pictures but left the camera at the Karaoke bar...it has yet to be found. Oh well.
It is currently the beginning of Spring Break month here. Hopefully town will get busy and we can all make money before we peace out!
We got some snow the other day -- Thank goodness!
Let's see, what else is going on?
I learned how to snowboard and love it.
I have been trying to be really good about my knee so skiing is on the back burner for this season.
I want sushi something fierce.
I also want Pizza Hut.
I miss my family and friends.
I also miss civilization outside of this box canyon.
I would do this again for another season -- Panama seems more appealing right now.
I have the itch for NYC, BAD.
...and a Philly cheese steak.
My hat obsession has become an increasing problem here.
I still dread having to shower or fix myself for work.
I want a pet again, preferably an english bulldog.
I need to take my GMATS when I get home but probably won't because I am not prepared.
Grad school is going to be pushed back another year (This is something I have recently discovered due to Peace Corps).
I have a list of schools based on different priorities I have been compiling. Currently location is top of the list, not academic excellence. Clearly I need more time to consider my options.
I decided I am going to take my time before applying to any programs. And by taking my time I am referring to my 27 months in Panama.
Somehow I have managed to be called a boy in a small ski town where most girls are tomboys by normal standards. How does that happen? I find being a ski bum has enabled my boy-like qualities to take over yet again. Beau says that I am a black man stuck in a white woman's body. I can't really argue that...I get ESPN updates on my cell phone and eat like it's my job.
That might be all I have right now...
Most of my friends are either close to marriage or in a serious relationship. I find it difficult to think about being in a relationship at all. In fact it almost scares me. haha. I figure it will work out when it is meant to, hopefully when I least expect it!

Ok, that is all for now.

Let's Go To Arizona.

2009-02-06T14:28:00.000-08:00

Beau and I in Flagstaff -- Thanks Adam!
The Grand Canyon.

Beau and Adam after a day of skiing Snowbowl.

Our friend, Adam, invited Beau and I to join him for a visit to his home town...the day before he was leaving. WE SAID OF COURSE! So Tuesday we headed to Flagstaff, Arizona and just got back today (Friday afternoon). We had a friggin' blast. I taught Beau how to ski -- she snowboards already but never tried skiing. I was highly impressed. We worked really well together and had so much fun. After the mountain closed we met friends of Adams for some Apres skiing drinks and nachos. Bob, his best friend's dad challenged me to a jalapeno eating contest. I definitely won. haha.
The next day we woke up early and went to the Grand Canyon, seeing as he lives an hour away. Beau and I had never been and were really excited for the experience. We had a big dinner party at Adam's house with his friends and family last night. It was a great time and I think we were all glad to get out of Telluride for a few days.
I have to go to work now but figured I would attempt to share at least a portion of what is going on my life these days. Everything is still minute by minute for me and I love every single second!!!

Gwethen the guwl

2009-01-28T12:58:00.000-08:00

Josh in Amanda's ridiculous sneakers.
Frozen hair after the best day I've ever had on a mountain.

Amanda and Lindsey.
Prospect.

Amanda and I had the best day on Monday. By some miracle we both had the whole day off work -- it dumped snow the night before. Neither of us were aware of this when we decided to go skiing. Knee deep, first tracks. It was glorious. We ran into lots of friends on the mountain and had plenty of dance party action on the chair lifts and the hill. haha. It was SO MUCH FUN.
My knee didn't hurt at all and still feels great. Work has been fun. One of the one and a half year olds at the daycare, Finn was adorable yesterday. I was changing his diaper (SUPER DUPER) and he goes, "Gwethen, my dad is a boy and you are a guwl. And I am growing to a big boy can't you see my mustache?" HOW CUTE IS THAT??? I couldn't stop laughing. The kids I get to work with are hilarious. Talk about personality and smarts. They always want to cuddle, sing and dance. I mean, who doesn't?
Tonight there is a Prom the lift operators put together at a local bar. It should be hilarious. Of course I have to work tonight so I will be there late. I am okay with that as long as I can get some pictures of mountain people attempting to dress up! haha. HILARIOUS.

That is all I have for now == this cafe is freezing and I don't want to type anymore. I head back to NJ on April 7th, thanks very much to Christine Ellen Ritner. :)

Mad love to my homies.

Long Time No Talk.

2009-01-21T13:20:00.000-08:00

My apologies for the delayed entry. Let me see...where do I begin?
First of all, I absolutely love it here -- and LOVE my jobs. I am working at an awesome daycare center, Mountain Munchkins...not sure if I wrote about it yet or not. 16 one and two year olds and 8 infants. They are adorable! The shifts are nine and a half hours long, pretty draining but totally worth it. My boss is really big on early childhood education and pushes the staff to take classes and go to seminars in town. It is really a great program.
I am working in town at The Cantina, an awesome restaurant that just opened. I love the people I work with and the food is out of this world. My boss has become one of my best friends out here which is pretty fun.
I am also ski instructing which has been awesome. I am only doing it when it is really busy on the mountain. It has been pretty chill.
I found out that the pain in my knee is a because I tore my LCL. That was great news...NOT. I have been banded from the mountain for most of the season by the doctor. I wore a stupid brace that made me develop a pimp walk -- not as cool as it sounds, trust me. I wore the brace and my knee does feel better. I am still going to teach in Februrary and eventually will ski this season. Things are looking up! haha. At least it has been crazy warm here and we haven't had a dumping of snow since Christmas. It makes it easier for me to be out of commission.
I am starting to get ready for Peace Corps Panama a bit more. And I am going to start studying for the GMATs so I can take them in April for grad school....gross. My newest idea for grad school is to find a school near a ski resort so I can still do the ski bum thing and get my degree. Super Duper.
Hmm, OH! Timbo came out to visit for New Years. It was quite a visit. We had a crazy night with some crazy rich Texans that adopted Tim and I as their children. We skied, ate way too much and played lots of Cranium with my friends. It was a lot of fun and I am so glad he got to see the postcard I live in every day. I miss that kid a ton. The week flew by and I wish he could have stayed forever.
I miss everyone from home and really missed NYC on New Years. I am excited to visit in April.
Word up.

I love the Gondola.

2008-12-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

The view from the Gondola heading into town. I love this place so much. I went home for Thanksgiving and got to spend lots of time with family and friends. It was so much fun! Tim and I worked out together but were too sore to continue the rest of the week. Pathetic, I know. My baby cousins are getting so big it is crazy!
Dana, Tim and I attempted to get tattoos together on an impulse. The people that worked at the tattoo shop were really rude and charged WAY too much so it was a no go.
I flew back to Telluride on Saturday and had to land in Cortez because it was too dangerous to land in Telluride. So my day of travel was complete after 16 hours. I was exhausted but went out to see people anyway. The mountain is opened so we have been skiing as much as possible! There are only 2 runs open because we need a few good snow storms and the resort is trying to save money. It has been snowing quite a bit since Thanksgiving so that is a good thing! I cannot wait for more runs to open.
I got a job with an awesome daycare center based on child development. I absolutely love it! The babies are adorable. It is only infants and toddlers up to the age of 3. My boss is great and the staff is as well. I have snow college for ski instructing this weekend and an interview for a waitressing position in town on Friday. Then I will have to decide where I will make the most money and let go of one of my jobs. My goal is to make as much money as possible while being a ski bum. We will see how well that turns out...at least my apartment building is right on the mountain and rent is dirt cheap!
Last night was Noel night in town. Every shop had sales and the bars and restaurants had specials. There were tons of people hanging out around town. It was a lot of fun! The Christmas tree lighting was cute and all the shops put up their holiday lights. I am in love with this town! Amanda got a job at Slope Styles, a snowboarding shop. She seems to really like it, I am so happy she found something fun! She also interviewed at the restaurant in town to be a waitress. We are both hoping to work there, the cash would be splendid! Plus it is mexican food -- can't go wrong there!
Well, that is all for now. Hasta Luego!

Ski Boots for $15?

2008-11-24T14:20:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of fun evenings with friends at Big Billies, my new residence.

Yes, that is correct - ski boots for $15. I love living in this little town. The leftovers from the ski swap were even more marked down and I had no idea. Not only are the boots I bought awesome, they just happen to match my new skis. What are the odds?!
I am currently in the Denver Airport waiting for my connecting flight home for Turkey Day! Not going to lie, I am really excited to see everyone. Things in Telluride have been great. I nailed my interview at a great daycare center in Mountain Village and will be starting work on Tuesday. Snow College for ski instructors starts on December 5th and I also applied as a waitress in town. Things are slowly falling into place.
Kate's costume birthday party was hilarious. We all had so much fun! I dressed as a saucy school teacher with the school bus skirt I found from the free box in town. The Gondola is running now and it makes going to town so much cooler! The view is unbelievable.

The truth is...you can't escape it.

2008-11-18T14:57:00.000-08:00

My first week in Telluride has gone by rather quickly. I set up my apartment to the best of my ability, became a member of the local library and received my new skis in the mail yesterday. Big Billies apartment building is like college...but better? Only because there are no exams to worry about.
There are so many people to meet everyday and so much to see that I barely sleep in! That is a shocker, I know. We have played lots of games, watched movies and went to see a live Bluegrass show in town the other night. There was a corn hole competition the other day. Amanda and I signed up but I was feeling under the weather so I asked a nice fellow to take my place. And I watched football all day instead. The Packers gave the Bears a pretty good beating. That would normally excite me but the Bears are like the equivalent of a high school team.
There is a free box in town where people drop off stuff they no longer want. It is pretty amazing. I found an awesome skirt with school buses all over it. I might wear it tonight if I am feeling saucy. I met some boys from Maryland who happen to know people I went to high school with...that was weird. And I have a great group of....wait for it...wait for it... girl friends here! Yeah, that's right, I said it, girls as friends. haha. We have been having lots of fun hanging out and exploring the town. A bunch of our new fabulous friends are starting orientation tomorrow as ski lift operators, I think life may be a bit boring without all of them around during the day!
Tomorrow night Jen (my fabulous friend from Denver) and I threw together a Super Sweet 23rd Costume Party for our friend Kate from Michigan. I am very excited. It will be great. Tonight we are going to bake her a delicious cake.
Last night I made a big dinner for a bunch of people in our land lords apartment. He has a great place and a real stove. I was so excited that he let me use his kitchen!
We are building a fort in my room tonight. I am also very excited about that.
Hasta Luego for now.

Telluride!

2008-11-14T11:47:00.001-08:00

Telluride is a great town. The mountains are gorgeous and the people are sweet. It is really relaxed and everyone living in our apartment building is a ski bum. We are right on the mountaint and there are free shuttles and a Gondola into town. Pretty convenient, if I do say so myself!
I have been on the hunt for a second, maybe even a third job. haha. We will see what happens. Just trying not to spend all my money until snow college starts. I will try to take more pictures when I feel like it. So there.

Camping in 20 degree weather?

2008-11-10T09:49:00.000-08:00

The week went by rather quickly. We spent time running errands for Papa George in Pueblo. I have been limping a lot and hope that my knee gets better soon. We are heading out to Telluride tomorrow and I am really excited. It looks like snow is on the way today. The sky reminds me of the heaviest snow days at home when I was a little girl.

George and Jane had some friends from San Antonio here this weekend. Steve came down from Boulder after an interview in Dallas. We went out in downtown Colorado Springs on Friday night. Saturday we packed up and headed to Mueller State Park on the other side of Pike's Peak. It was a great time! We went hiking and then made Thai food and sat around an awesome camp fire. It was freezing once the sun went down, and sleeping was pretty rough! We had an awesome breakfast on Sunday. I ate like a pig and we had a lazy day at home. All in all a huge success in my book.

My baby brother is 21 today! Woohoo. I am bummed that I can't be there to buy him his first legal beer. Happy Birthday Timbo!!!

You're not official until you crash into a rock.

2008-11-05T16:12:00.000-08:00

Boulder, CO. Our view from the top of the mountain - totally worth the work to get there!

Meghan, Amanda, Steve...half way to the top.

Beautiful State.

Me and Amanda at Big Texas, where I learned how to two step. haha.

Proof (I was dragged onto the dance floor and hesitant at first). And, just for the record, it is ridiculously hard to learn how to dance in flip flops!

Amanda and I spent the weekend with Meghan and Steve Sloan. They took us to Ft. Collins on Saturday for a brewery tour and a house warming party. Odell's brewery was a lot of fun, the guy giving the tour was a returned peace corps volunteer. He randomly mentioned it during the start of the tour so we all talked afterward. Sunday we went hiking in Boulder, then toured CU's campus and got to see where Meghan and Steve got married. Boulder is really pretty - I totally understand the appeal now. We got nachos and played games. Later we got sushi and played more games. My knee was killing me and I later found out I pulled a muscle while hiking. Monday we went mountain biking. I had the best wipe out EVER. Over a tree root into a rock. The front tire left an awesome battle wound up my left shin and my right knee smashed into a rock. It is still bleeding, two days later. haha. It was the best work out I have ever had! It is so beautiful out here. We got burritos and hung out for the rest of the day.
We are moving out to Telluride on Tuesday. I am SO excited. I ordered new skis last night - they are gorgeous and SO CHEAP. Holler at a player when you see her in the streets, that's all I have to say. I have been limping around and periodically cleaning out my knee. It is so gross! haha. I can't wait to go mountain biking again.

hmmm, I guess that is it for now. I made some awesome cinnamon muffins last night. We have been cooking A LOT. Oh and I heard from Peace Corps...I leave for Panama in April to do Tourism and English Development. I am very, VERY excited about that, to say the least. Things are falling back into place, for now.

Ok, Peace Out.

You want me to balance my shins on my triceps?!

2008-10-29T21:08:00.000-07:00

Yoga. That's right, I am actually giving it a shot. Everyday this week we have gone. And this is nothing like Yoga for the People on St. Marks in NYC. Amanda and I have been going to a little studio about 5 minutes away from her grandparents' home. The instructors are awesome and have actually been teaching us a lot. I still prefer weights and a good run as exercise! I will say that is it relaxing. It is a fun, new challenge (if you know me, you are aware that I am not the most flexible person in the world. haha).
We are waiting to see when we can move out to Telluride. Unfortunately, Amanda's grandfather is a bit ill and needs some help recovering. He is a little better each day, I am thankful for that. A truly hilarious man, let me tell you. He reminds me so much of my Poppop. It makes me miss him so much. I keep sneaking into the country club's gym. Eventhough the treadmill is ruining my legs, I feel like yoga is helping. haha.
Okay, exciting things happened today! We went looking for ski stuff since all of our winter things in the Republic of Georgia are being put on a cargo ship...eventually. There was this little store in Old Colorado City we happened to drive by today. Naturally, we stopped in...AND there were awesome snow jackets from last year on sale! We got $200 ski jackets for $30. I am pretty freakin' pumped about that. I am going to wait to get to the mountian for the ski swap. I want a new pair but am not going to splurg on anything this year.
We are going to visit Amanda's Aunt Stacy at her school on Friday and then we are going to Stacy's son, Colton's football game. It is Halloween so I want to bake something for Stacy's class or at least buy then some candy! haha. They aren't mine so I can enable the mass intake of sugar on one of my favorite days of the year! It makes me sad to think that I will be missing Halloween in New York. For anyone who hasn't had the pleasure of experiencing it - Stop Wasting Precious Time People!!

That's all for now. Ciao.

Colorado Springs- Garden of the gods

2008-10-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

This park is basically Amanda's grandparents' backyard...it is gorgeous. They made her take me the other day. I can completely understand why people love living in this state. The weather here has been gorgeous during the day and pretty cold at night. I love it! We went to Amanda's cousin, Colton's high school football game last night. Talk about bringing you back! It was a lot of fun and very cold, I was excited to wear a hat and gloves. We are getting all of our things in line for Telluride, Grandma Jane has really taken care of us, to say the least!

Snow!

2008-10-22T12:51:00.000-07:00

Colorado Springs is gorgeous. It reminds me a lot of Park City, Utah. Lots of SUVs, beautiful mountains and stepford wives. Amanda and I have been trying to get things in line for our move to Telluride. Her grandparents are adorable and their house is pretty great. I have been sneaking into the country club gym at night, poor people need to work out too! hahaha. It is great, my heart rate is already high when I get to the gym - no warm up necessary.
Nothing too exciting, really. We work out, watch CNN too much and I have semi- started to study for the GMAT's. I have also been doing about 3 crossword puzzles a day... do you see how badly I need work again?? We are going to do a week of yoga next week. There is a yoga studio that has an offer for a trial day for $12 or an unlimited trial week for $15, obviously we are going for the week.
Amanda's grandparents have a 4 year old dog, named Goldie. She is a Golden Doodle. Yes, that is what I said, a GOLDEN DOODLE! Haha. Hilarious. She is a great dog and very pretty. She apparently likes me because I allow her to lick my face sometimes. I am excited to move out to Telluride in the beginning of November. I will try to post some pictures eventually.
OH! It snowed this morning. I woke up to a glorious sight. It has been quite a long time since I have seen fresh, white snow on the ground. It is beautiful and not too cold yet. Flip flops and a hoodie. Woohoo.

The Woodlands

2008-10-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

The Woodlands are north of Houston and remind me a lot of Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. Everything is hidden by trees, understated and humid. haha. Amanda's dad and step-mom are hilarious. We went out to a great seafood place last night and are going to a block party tonight. I just pulled myself off the couch to check my email - we have been eating queso and watching college football all day. If you are not aware, I am in heaven!
We leave tomorrow for Colorado Springs. I am really excited to get out there. When we go out to Telluride to sign our lease we will be looking for bartending jobs. Telluride is in the South Western part of Colorado and is not close to most of the well known resorts. I am happy to be somewhere different.
So, let's see, what else is new with me? I sent my application back into the Peace Corps. Not sure if I will be able to go because of bills I will have to worry about over the two years. It is really frustrating but I refuse to whine about it. Everything happens for a reason, I will continue to roll with the punches all the while laughing. I am applying for a leadership position with Americorps as well. It is nothing like Peace Corps but it sounds like something else right up my alley. Volunteering, meeting and working with new people and traveling! I have also been going a tad bit crazy with my grad school search. I have a pretty decent list of schools that I can pay for while attending. There are also a lot of options if I can become a full-time employee for a University I am applying to... who knows where I will end up!
Amanda and I have been really fun this week. I think part of it is knowing that we have a new adventure to look forward to and part of it is just being ourselves again. We have had some pretty random situations, a lot of it is because we are both really out spoken. It makes life pretty interesting to say the least. It is nice to have someone who loves meeting people and doing random things as much as I do.
Oh! My hair, is turning orange. I guess trying to be a brunette when you are blonde isn't a great idea after all. I tried. Now I am stuck with hair that keeps getting lighter and looks awful. hahaha. Don't gloat Aunt Daphne, it isn't THAT funny. Kari did a good job and it looked good before I went outside!
Hasta Luego!!!

I'm a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda girl.

2008-10-16T09:34:00.000-07:00

Galway
Aran Islands
Aran Islands
Outside Blarney Castle
Bowling in Cork
Guinness Factory in Dublin
Belfast
Dunfanaghy- County Donegal
Dunfanaghy - County Donegal
Dunfanaghy- County Donegal
Chris Mathew after he got a call from a man in an Armenian prison.
Erik.Rocks.
The chair lift in Armenia...one of the most exciting days we had there.
Amanda has Starbucks radar. We were in London for 20 minutes and she found one. Ridiculous.
Dublin.
Jen, Kirsten, Amanda and Katie - My Ladies
One of 4 supra tables at out farewell dinner in Armenia
Some Georgian Gangsters - Asmat and Teo

The Georgian Staff.

Amanda, Jim and Barb - Amanda's adopted parents and my in-laws!
Our Peace Corps Georgia country director and his gangster wife!
Jaymi, Steve and Meghan - my adopted family in Georgia! They rock my world.

Armenian Market

I decided to start a new blog since I am starting a new journey! I hope this doesn't inconvenience anyone, but if it does - get over it! haha. I was in Armenia for too long. My next stop was Ireland. It was an awesome trip with awesome people. I can back to America in the middle of September. Amanda, Chris and I stayed with my Mom. Josh skipped out of the Ireland trip a bit earlier. Steve and Meghan Sloan came to stay with us as well. It was a mini Peace Corps reunion! We had a lot of fun (as much fun as possible in New Jersey...). I stayed home an extra week to see my Timmmayy and Daner Lynn.
I decided to do something fun for work since I had to readjust my life plans. Working 9-5, five days a week at McDonalds was not very appealing. If Chipotle opened near me maybe I would have stuck around... However, the reality of the situation is that Chipotle is no where to be found near Trenton, NJ. Shame on them. I guess it worked out for the best, I am moving out west. Pretty exciting, huh? I got a job in Telluride, CO with Amanda. We are going to be ski instructors for the ski season this year. It met all my requirements: full-time, fun, different, seasonal. Telluride is my next stop on the adventure train! haha. The only minor inconvenience for me and Amanda is the fact that all of our winter clothing and accessories are still in the Republic of Georgia. hahaha. Never a dull moment.
I am currently in Pearland, Texas visiting Amanda's home. It is right outside of Houston and HUMID. I don't know how people live in this kind of weather year round. I have had tex mex, barbeque and cajun food. I know, I know, I inevitably talk about food more than anything else. There is a donut place- Shipley's...A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Jack in the Box is also fabulous, especially after a night out. This is a shout out to Tim and Dana- They have Little Ceasars EVERYWHERE down here. I finally had some! And everything has a drive-thru window. Little Ceasars has a drive-thru window people! How brilliant. Needless to say, I have had 2 pizzas from there in one week. haha. Last night we went to Big Texas, it was everything I ever pictured of a Texas bar. A cute boy taught me how to two step! That's right, I got out on the dance floor in front of everyone. I had so much fun. We danced until the place closed. It is a good thing I am leaving soon, I would definitely have an accent if I lived down here.
We are going to Amanda's dad's house tonight, I am excited to meet him! Ok, enough rambling I am ending this post now. I will post more pictures when I have time.
Wait! One more brilliant thing I have been introduced to in Texas - The Red Box! They are outside of most places down here like Walgreens and CVS. It is a movie rental machine. They are $1 and you can return the DVD to any Red Box you see! Well, I thought it was a great idea.